Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Splinter: Halloween Awesomeness, III


Lean and mean and only 82 minutes long. I like that.

Upon first impression, it seems that SPLINTER would:

a) be a movie about a split personality
b) be a torture porn flick about sticking stuff under nails (I don't know why I thought of that.)
c) *not* be about what it really is about.

In case you didn't guess, it's the "c" option. And I don't want to tell you what the movie is really about because, like a lot of scary movies, the coolest thing about this one is that you don't know what's coming. I'll just tell you, though, that things start off with an attack involving the "splinter thing." Then we switch to what we think might be a movie about campers getting stuff wedged under their nails by a sadistic killer (see "b" above). Then it seems SPLINTER will be about the danger of stopping for a stranded person on the side of the road to help her (see "a" above).

Actually, it's a little bit of that stopping to help a stranded person part, but then we get to an isolated gas station during the pitch of night, and just about everyone has to lock themselves in from what they encounter outside....

This is a good, solid movie because, first, it's got characters who seem pretty real because they use their brains. Second, there's a scene or two that reminded me of EVIL DEAD but not because something's possessed in a traditional sense. Third, I didn't catch any CGI!

(BTW, this is becoming a big thing with me. I think I became vehemently anti-CGI after it messed up INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL. Well, that and a few other things which messed it up [cough...tarzan...cough].)

I'll also tell you that the threat in this movie is treated a lot differently than you think it'll be, too. It snaps the bones in a person's body, splits them apart, and totally makes you go "Ewwww!" in a good horror way. But everything just isn't about gore--there's a ton of suspense involved, especially in a sequence near the end.

One last thing: how can you not like a movie that contains this line:
"He can't change a tire, but f*&% is he can't chop off an arm."

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